Thursday, April 22, 2010

skulls and teeth and bad ass guns

This rad handyman dude that works at 3F was telling me about how in the summer he goes hunting in Arkansas, which was a perfect opportunity to ask an expert how to clean the guts off animal skulls. I would never hunt (well never say never, but lets be real. The only interest I have in guns is shooting one of those rapid-fire machine guns--where you wear the ammo across your chest--at the red carpet of the Oscars) but I am interested in animal bones, skulls, and fur. He told me if I found a dead animal all I have to do to clean it is to take it to a car wash and blast the shit out of it (in the middle of the night, obviously) with a gnarly high-powered hose. Done and done! Picture that photo-op of all quick time! Especially cos I'd most likely be wearing my bright yellow rain poncho that has Mickey Mouse on it! Yowza! Hopefully I won't have to do that intense ceremony though if this good ol boy comes through as he offered and gets me a bear skull! The casualness of his offer, the nonchalance about it, the no big d he made it seem, makes me hope he's being for real! He also told me he could get me "tons" of coyote skulls too. I already have one coyote skull, but if I had many...jeez I could do any number of things with those (Burning Man anyone? Paint em all *funky* and sell them? SYKE). I think I would build a plexi-glass box and fill it with them and use it as a side table. Or I'd have them laying around everywhere. Who knows!
These are bear skulls

This dude, the handyman, doesn't hunt animals though, he hunts birds and fish. Yes, fish. I was like, "how do you hunt a fish???" Well apparently if you "hunt" the type of fish that this madman does, you are hunting a weird ass fucker that has the beak (?) snout (?) WHATEVER it would be called, of a dolphin--so like long, but with insane teeth that are really long and evil and sharp, so you catch it with a net, and THEN (no big deal) shoot it between the eyes with a 38. IMAGINE.

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