ANYTHING LESS WOULD BE UNCIVILIZED!

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Flowers in thee Attique SERIOUSLY! GROSS!

Um did you hear about Mackenzie Phillips' new autobio? Not a big deal, only talks about how her father, John Phillips--Mamas and the Papas but more importantly father of Bijou (Beej)--raped her while they were both utterly anhillated on drugs, which turned into a 10 year long concentual sexual relationship. I need a new pair of shoes. I need to go to the doctor for various problems (I'm probably dying of 80 different things as I type these very words), I need new eyeglasses and contacts, I need a cavity fixed, I owe money to AT+T from 5 years ago AND to the IRS, but best EFFING believe bro I will buy this book HARDBACK before I even eat another meal. INSANE CLOWNS!

Also hates monkeys but doesn't know why. Just hates 'em. Always has.

So I have a new side job at this place that I can't mention where it is exactly cos I want to talk about some people there, coworkers and "regulars". The place is highly googled, twittered, twatted, squatted, etc and I do not want any of these nutters reading my tight shit! I will tell you that it is a brewery that has a pub attached and they brew what is "the most bad ass pale ale in the country, if not the world". That quote is from someone who calls people "cowboy". I'm starting to think he rules even though he once said everything was "cool and the gang". Actually you know what? He totally rules. He's the type of guy I want in my foxhole. I'm down with anyone who has an actual work ethic for once. ANYWAY. The person I REALLY want to talk about is this rad woman I work with. She hates everything. I'm not kidding dude, she hates water. Want a quote from her? No prob. Upon walking into the kitchen, where they were listening to RAP as in HIP HOP as in black people style, she goes, "What the fuck is this shit? Is this that faggot from the B-52's?"
STAY GOLD.
I'm stoked on this job. What about how I work at a brewery but I quit drinking, seriously, I KNOW! They make amazing beer too! The people who work there are all either completely amazing in a real way or in a way as described above. So tight.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

The embarrassment never stops

Moments ago I was lucky enough to see Pearl Jam's new video for their song "The Fixer". It is a video of the band playing live to an audience. Eddie Vedder's hair looks like a cross between a werewolf going to a formal event (like put on a tux and did the best he could with the hair) and Kris Kristofferson. I know I'm making it sound like it looks good, but its eddie vedder. At one point in the vid he waved his hands quickly in front of his face a la that other wedding singer in The Wedding Singer, the one who wore poet shirts and added swears to the songs. I'm dead serious; that shit really happened in this crap. Also Stone Gossard, looking like Bob Saget hatched him out of his own egg, was playing guitar while twirling around like a ballerina in a jewelry box. And people say rock is dead. Just get up at 7:45 and watch the top 20 on VH1.

Friday, September 18, 2009