ANYTHING LESS WOULD BE UNCIVILIZED!

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Love/Hate: Love

1. That you can buy Sonic Youth CDs at Starbucks
2. Nachos
3. Trolls
4. Cassavettes (father and son, not the daughter. The son made The Notebook and Alpha Dog. HUH?????)
5. Riot grrrl culture and fashion and music
6. Los Angeles
7. Bubba (a dog I used to know)
8. Bronwyn
9. Cool boots
10. Sunset
11. Heckling bands
12. Luxurious items such as handstitched lambskin and cashmere socks
13. Frozen yogurt
14. Graph paper
15. Heavy metal on cassette
16. Montana thrift stores
17. Lindsay Lohan/Sam Ronson
18. Straight to video
19. Made for TV movies of the 70's, 80's and 90s
20. Flannery Oconnor
21. Old sweatshirts
22. Coutney Love interviews
23. Going to Barneys and pretending to be rich and buying nothing
24. Point Break
25. Calling someone a hooker who isn't
26. Wonderwall
27. Mood lighting
28. Birds that walk around acting weird
29. Grindcore mosh breakdowns
30. Ralph Lauren and his hilarious fake ranch-hand vibe
31. Weeping willows
32. The music video for Candlebox "Far Behind"
33. Dilapitated neighborhoods and buildings
34. Herzog
35. GG Allin's tattoos
36. Shameless celebrities
37. Italian Vogue
38. Girls w/ moustaches
39. Outrageous compulsive liars
40. Old punk shirts
41. Dancehall
42. Imagining my funeral
43. Rabid Rabbit
44. 90's diva house
45. When you dread going to work but the day ends up being pretty smooth and fun
46. John Waters
47. Aerosmith (all eras)
48. Wild parties
49. Last American Virgin
50. The woman who works at the Chanel makeup counter at Macy's who has the biggest moustache on earth. Don't even tell me you can't get a job, puhlease.
51. Bluetooths!
52. Pretending I don't know anything about art
53. Anthrax (the band)
54. The era between 1978-1983 (can of Strohs, feathered hair)
55. Bijou Phillips!!!
56. Talking on the phone
57. Cooking delicious food
58. The aesthetic of used car lots
59. Wood paneling
60. Twin Peaks
61. The point when someones laugh becomes a cackle. (J/k)
62. Overhearing yuppie women talk about their love lives (delusion in general)
63. House plants
64. Cable and all of the amazing shows to see on it
65. Balenciaga
66. Having the same convo over and over and over about The Hills and never getting anywhere. Like its supposed to be not totally fake, fine, but what IS real? Lauren has her own busted ass clothing line (in real life) but "works" at People's Revolution for that wizard woman who seriously needs her own show immediately. In real life Heidi has a whoop ass singing career, but that's never discussed, instead she sits at a desk at "Bolthouse" so she can wait til Spencer pulls up in his retarded I-have-a-small-dick car and they can talk about their ridiculous problems. Also, according to Heidi, "Bolthouse" is pronounced "Bowlhousse". WTFE. Pure trolls.
67. Coming up with names for bands that will never happen
68. James Spader
69. Royal Trux
70. 1989 Red Fararri and daydreaming about driving one while blasting Suckdog and not slowing down while turning corners
71. Jesus' Son (the book NOT the movie)
72. The Mamas and the Papas
73. The Noid, Spuds Mackenzie, etc
74. Nuns (the only legitimate living thing that is 100% terrifying--besides being attacked by a pissed off bear or vicious jungle cat. Preists? Not a big deal, they're harmless. Cops? F-U! But NUNS?????? Scary!
75. Speaking of cops, the show COPS.
76. While I'm in that mind frame: Beth from DOG Bounty Hunter. Shout out to all the Miss Piggy chicks out there. (You don't have to be fat to be a Miss Piggy, fyi. Daisy of Love fully counts)
77. Black Flag
78. Heathers
79. 1979
80. Unexpectedly hearing those opening notes of "Mother" by Danzig
81. The Gonz
82. Spin the tazer
83. People who TCB (usually lesbians)
84. Vintage, peeling wallpaper
85. How people still refer to Jared Leto as Jordan Catalano, and also that he spearheads a band that sounds like he's in the 10th grade (which is far beyond where he is mentally)
86. Car mod
87. The aesthetic of Crass
88. Richard Simmons
89. Ikea
90. Johnnie Walker Black
91. Kid Rock
92. That two of the guys in Slayer are obviously gay for each other
93. Stock car races
94. Curried squash with tofu
95. Samantha Fox
96. The Replacements
97. Class rings
98. Juggalos
99. Dirty white jeans
100. Cliff Burton and Dee Dee Ramone (tie)
101. Miami Vice

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