Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Nylon is so gross

Bought the new Nylon yesterday cos my job is boring. And what else am I going to buy? Cosmo? God do they even make that thing still? Who READS it? ANYWAY. Bookmarked a few items to discuss...

--My least fav type of vibe: The WESC ad which features a girl using boc choy as a megaphone. La-hame nuggs.

--Oh yes, the important, global reporting of my favorite racist*, vapid, lust zombie: Peaches Geldof. Check this before anything else and then we'll talk.
You should note that Peaches is said to be a "journalist". You write a page in Nylon about NOTHING. Okay, I caught myself, you got me, that is journalism. I'm happy about that cos it makes ME a journalist too, I mean this blog is published right? Now I can add to my list: popcorn maker, fashion designer, grocery cashier, florist, pizza maker, accountant, Goodwill supervisor, environmental lab technician, curator, roadie, corn detassler, baker, bouncer, JOURNALIST.
This issue Peaches goes deep into the world of Coachella, and here's the highlights, although I do not blame you if you go and buy two copies of this magazine (one to archive in plastic to later sell at Antiques Roadshow, or Christie's, or Sotheby's no doubt for thousands and thousands, if not MILLIONS, of dollars.)

"...We met up with [blah blah blah--more idiots that don't matter in the slightest] at the Ace Hotel party, where I snagged some stonewashed Levi's for free." JOURNALISM.

"...Jonny and I lounged around poolside, trying (and failing) to avoid an onslaught of splash attacks-Jonny eventually gave in and swam in his Jeremy Scott sunglasses and tshirt." DEEEEEEP JOURNALISM.

If you don't know, this is Jeremy Scott

He is thee deepest most atrocious YBNormal on the streets today. His clothes reflect that, as you can see:

Oh oh oh! Here it is, the crown jewel on this meticulous pyramid of absolute barf:

"I wandered off to see Conor Oberst and the Mystic Valley Band [ed. note: Mystic Valley Band? WOW. Can I get the dressing on the side?] play a set that perfectly fit the desert surroundings, his voice at turns hushed and soaring, as he told tales of wildfires and lost highways."
I wish SO badly that there was a function on here that let me install a red, screeching siren, cos it would be GOING OFF RIGHT NOW. I will have to settle for a "GONG!!!"
Seriously though, is that not the most embarrassing thing you have ever read? I am dying inside. People just do not know!

*The reason I called her a racist is because in that interview on The Selby she talks about mexican guys checking her out in her neighborhood. Because she lives in Brooklyn which is like you know, so ethnic and everything, she's really slumming it in her weird Less Than Zero cocaine castle with those EMBARRASSING trolls!!!!! I wish I had a swimming pool cos after talking about this toolbag I want to take a refreshing dip and clear my mind. Maybe "let my mind wander to desert plains, where the heat swims in waves and simmers off surfaces."


  1. Wowie wow wow. That jeremy scott jacket is sick. White Rasta is is pretty 2008 though. I think I would like Jeremy Scott better if he wasnt from Oaklahoma city or whatever. Cant hate on charging people mad money for loonybin clothes. I just dont understand who wears that stuff. It expensive right?

  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

  3. too bad she`s dating my ex boyf. guess that little troll likes my sloppy seconds in her puss.BOOSH.