Monday, February 15, 2010

The devil wears diesel

Yesterday I was waiting for the bus at 6pm after work. The bus stop is in front of the most awful bar in the history of the world. Its the kind of place that is PACKED with jocks by 10am on Saturday and Sunday mornings. ANYWAY. This dude comes up behind me and goes, "You wanna go somewhere?"
Seeing as this person didn't address me to my face, I did not respond. Then he comes around and says again, "Can we go somewhere?" He is wicked fucked up. And he looks like a backstreet boy/eurotrash idiot. Then he starts blathering and CRYING, slapping himself in the face and saying, "I DON'T KNOW WHERE I AM, I DON'T KNOW WHERE I AM RIGHT NOW! I'm from California, I'm a nice kid, I'm a good kid, I swear."

So I'M like (concerned--seriously) "Okay, well I'll help you, where are you trying to go?" And he's like, "My singer just killed himself man, he just OD'd, and I have $10,000 in cash [which he pulled out and he seriously had a wad of 100's the size of a potato, which he was so sloppy and fucked up I thought he was going to drop it--I was hoping he would because I wouldve grabbed it and RAN] and I spent 2 grand on diesel clothes today."
I'm just staring at him.
"I don't do drugs man, I swear, I don't drink, I'm a clean cut kid."
"Seriously will you get a drink with me right now? I'm in a band, Devil Wears Prada, we were supposed to play at House of Blues tonight but my singer fucking died in front of the place and the tour bus just dropped me off at this bar." The bar is nowhere NEAR house of blues btw.
"I have ten thousand dollars in CASH!!! Please, lets get a drink somewhere! I'm COVERED in tattoos, am I okay? I'm okay right? God I'm so COLD! [It was not that bad] Please, come with me, I don't know what to do."
Of couse the bus is coming and I have to get on it. He asks if he can come with me and I say yes, but he bails when I say I can't get a drink. It was Valentines Day man! I had dinner plans! Otherwise you ALL know I would've been BOUT IT BOUT IT.

PS I looked online and that band was scheduled to play HOB. Whatever. I've never heard of that wack shit, and their myspace said they are Christian Hardcore. Amazing.


  1. you should have hung out with that guy.

  2. Wait...he said he doesn't drink, yet he wants to get a drink with you? Sounds pretty shady. Bible be messin' heads, yo.

  3. Slapping himself in the face! That is awesome.